Mike is in an anonymous lock-up garage. He is covered in mud and concrete dust. He is on the phone.
Mike Never you mind. You just tell them we’ve got Jimmy, that’s all they need to know. And they’re not getting him back unless the price is right. (Pause) You’re a bold bugger aren’t ya? Just print that. (Pause) No bloody comment.
Hangs up. Larry enters from an adjoining room, ashen faced.
He is similarly dirty.
Mike They’ll run it. Told night shift fella we’d use t’Post as a communication channel. Sales’ll go through the roof.
Mike JCB go back alright?
Larry Yeah, it’s back on site.
Mike You wipe it down for prints?
Larry Aye, but Mike –
Mike (checks watch) 4am. Light soon. We should crack on.
Mike picks up two crowbars.
Larry I heard something.
Mike Is someone here?
Larry No, I mean, from inside.
Mike Inside what?
Larry indicates the room next door.
Mike What, the coffin?
Mike Fuck’s sake, don’t be daft.
Larry I’m not.
Mike Larry, it’s late, it’s been a long night, I’m not in t’mood for a wind-up.
Larry I’m serious.
Mike I think maybe you need to get some sleep mate.
Larry It was a voice.
Mike Maybe a shrink and all.
Larry I ain’t going back in there.
Mike Oh don’t do this to me.
Larry I mean it.
Mike You don’t believe in that shite.
Mike hands Larry one of the crowbars.
Mike Take this, shut yer face, and let’s finish this.
Larry He said ‘Now then’.
Mike He said what?
Larry ‘Now then’.
Mike You’re hearing things.
Larry I swear.
Mike Just the once?
Mike Just one ‘now then’?
Larry I think so.
Mike Yes or no.
Mike But you can’t be sure.
Larry Yeah, I’m sure.
Mike Well that’s alright then.
Mike Cos if it really was him he’d have said it twice wouldn’t he? ‘Now then, now then’. Shows you were hearing things.
Larry This isn’t right.
Mike It’s a bit bloody late for that.
Larry People loved him.
Mike That’s why they’ll pay us a lot of money.
Larry I wrote to Jim’ll Fix It once.
Mike What d’you ask for?
Larry You remember Schofields on t’Headrow?
Mike The department store? Aye.
Larry Well there was this section with all crystal glassware – vases and bowls and chandeliers and wotnot. And whenever I was in there with me Mam I always had this massive urge to run through it, sweeping me arms all along the shelves and for everything to go flying off and smash on the floor. It’d make a brilliant noise.
Mike That’s what you asked Jim for?
Mike And did he fix it for you?
Larry Never even got a reply.
Mike Then this is payback.
Larry Wasn’t his fault. S’a stupid idea.
Mike I think it’s brilliant.
Larry You would.
Mike I’d do that. It’d be ace. Hey it’s never too late. Can do it later today if y’like.
Larry Schofields closed down.
Mike Oh yeah. Harvey Nicks?
Larry I think the moment might’ve passed Mike.
Mike You were lucky. He’d only have touched you up. Weirdo used to perve over my niece down Roundhay chippy. Pinched her arse once, she said.
Larry He ran two hundred marathons for charity.
Mike So what do you propose, at this stage? That we make the ransom one final act of fundraising? Give it all to Leeds General Infirmary? If we raise enough for a new wing maybe they’d even let us cut the tape.
Larry I think I want out.
Mike No chance.
Larry I mean it.
Mike You’re in this up to your neck.
Larry I made a mistake.
Mike Tell you what. Help me open him up and let’s have a look at the bling. Maybe that’ll change yer mind.
Larry He spoke, Mike. I swear he spoke.
Mike We can have a bit of a natter with him then can’t we? Ask what Heaven’s like and that. Come on Mystic Meg. Time for the moment of truth. Let’s jimmy open Jimmy. With any luck there’ll be a nice fat cigar each waiting for us.
Mike takes his crowbar and exits.
Larry stands there looking at his.
Mike (off) Fuck me!
Larry What? Mike? What?